awkward monologue

photo by me - the blue staircase in sibiu

you should have told me about today,

that i would meet you.

i should have been prepared...

now i have to mumble among words

only to tell you my name,

simple as it is,

rather than how you can make me feel

if anything should happen

between us.

i'm not so good at monologues,

and even worse at dialogging,

but that

your really had to expect.

words, sometimes,

are like drops of oil in boiling water,

they don't seem to fit me.

it would be best to just look me in the eyes

maybe something there can be found.

or you just might listen to my voice,

forget the words and their logic,

care only for the tone and fondness of my voice.

might work.

you might get a glimpse of me,

broken apart of what i'm saying.

care nothing for my words,

they only deceive, bounded inside letters,

stuck in the surprise of meeting you.

really should have told me about today,

about facing you.

i should have been prepared...

i've waited for this

only

all of my life.

the comeback

oh, lethal muse, do come back!
kind enough to rejoin my soul
for things that have been waiting
to get done.


sometimes harsh yet sometimes a lover,
my to-die-for muse,
light your candle again
for my eyes to see.


i hear neither wind nor music
without you
not able and not willing
without my spirit filled-up with thy shine. 


these are my last words
that i can barely draw out from within.
my last breath, 
my last thought 
and 
my last feeling
are meant for you, 
my lethal muse...

waltz opus no.3 (friendly)

one step, two steps
so humble am I to have met you, my dear
so truly grateful and so truly glad


one step, two steps
i think i know you from a time before
i guess we sat at the same table
and you gave me wine and a piece of bread
along with your grace and kindness


one step, two steps
you told me about the sea
showed me the sky
sang me a tune of the old sailors
and gave me your coat not to be cold


one step, two steps
i never saw you again till now
so many lives have passed
so many dears for you
and then again for I

one step, two steps
now, let me buy you a drink
for old times' sake
if you're hungry, i'll you get a piece of bread
and
when the final hour comes
we'll sing old sailors songs...

one step, two steps
we'll sing till the rising of the sun
yours truly dear friend

waltz opus no.2 (the waltz of words)

Wosene Worke Kosrof - The Color of Words IX

we dance with words

one to another,

only that-another to just understand what we meant.

this extinct battle to be understood.

this voyage from feeling 

to finding the definition of that specific tone or choice

that is so particularly "us".

bounded with letters and rules of grammar.

under the obligation to resume yourself within thirty lines or more,

depending of the time allowed or the page size you are granted.

how hard was for the first man to speak?

what was his first word?

why from that moment on we've stuck boundaries upon boundaries

along with each word created?

...but how else can you be understood?...

how else can you "say" what you want, think or feel?

how else can we tell someone we love or hate him?

how else can you say you've missed him or that you're glad?

my dear words,

we've invented you for so long

to be able to bring to life

only a crumb of what's inside of us...

but what would we be without you?

so again,

day by day,

we dance with you, my dear words,

only one day to be able to tell everything...

till then, let's dance!

clubbed to death

clubbed to death by angels
i wish to be. just to be born again
from a wave of fire and stone
skin hard for no pain as my soul
eyes to see all as my heart
re-born from this madness only to live truly by the word.

someone asked me the other day
what the word is?
i smiled in complete silence...
he didn't understand.

i would like to club him to death along with angels
only to be born again.
waves of fire and stone
to harden his skin and soul
eyes to see everything with his heart
this madness gets to be so you could live truly by the word.

choice-of-words

we do tend to circle around a bunch of words which define us for a while. it depends from person to person on how long that particular group of words defines oneself - some take like six-months-choice-of-words, some take eight, twelve or more, regarding the power to see something else, one's imagination and creativity, let's not forget reading a bit or seeing some art from time to time... therefore, in my case, i'm stuck with my-group-of-words for like six to eight months. i incline to change them beginning from a conversation with a friend, a good line of a film, a quote from a book i did't read completely or haven't finished yet or maybe a striking image that came in front of me or i stumbled upon. 

to cut a long story short, these days i circle around a few words or phrases i'd like to put below for everyone to know them, to give an advice or a critique and last but not least to know me better by the words surrounding my vocabulary, state of mind or simply my humor. and i'd like to write them down because in few months they could change and some time from now i'll forget them, like never being with me or part of me, like never knowing them at all. they'll become another everyday choice-of-words with no meaning what so ever than themselves.

so here goes nothing:

1. i am a poem
2. i know everything and nothing at all, with no knowledge of how i know or how i got to know that at all
3. the world rest in your/my pen. imagine it!
4. i do try, i really do. but i got to stop trying and just do it.
5. there is a purpose everywhere. you just got to find it
6. we all have a mission, a lesson to learn. if i'll fail mine this time i'm sure to come back for the same thing over and over again until i learn
7. if you look up you'll see the sun, down there's only pavement 
8. because there is so much beauty in the world
9. there is a God and He's laughing. that will never change.
10. i am a joy of human being

all's well when it ends well, or someone did say that a while ago. hope is true. hope my choice-of-words did not offend anybody. hope i'm not the only one with such choices.

language & hearing

in other language

i easily find the words

to define myself.

i'm too used to think with the voice i was born in

accustomed with the same topic and sense

tired of all the meaning i can make.

and i'm not afraid of making mistakes using different words than my own

not scared of being misunderstood or taken for granted 

hoping of some new ideas that will pop out even if i don't think them.

i'm free in these new vocabulary. no boundaries

to report to or to be stuck in. just feelings

drawn in this fresh lines letters reveal to me.

i cannot relate to anyone but myself with my maiden voice.

i can ask no advice nor older council, newborn

inwards and forth my own universe.

hear me out!

if there is anyone else speaking the same tongue.

be kind and listen to me, decent to reply.

i'm all words and ears

hearing as clear as ever

speaking for the first time.

stumbling in English

ion bitzan - sublime

my tongue 

is searching 

for some sort of language 

to be able to speak in.

wracked among words

of no specific culture,

belonging to no one

and all

at the same time

i do find myself.

nobody told me

when i first came here

the need to be assigned

could ruin

even speech. 

 why do i bother?

oh, the hell, why do i bother?

heaven and hell alike

need no confinements.

nor do i.

God

bears

different names

only because of us.

He's still the same

with no other otherness

than the names we named Him.

what art configuration

do i need to perform

so everyone

can hear me?

can you imagine

the titanic battle

that crams into my mouth?

can you hear my tongue breaking?

hoping to find the right words...

words... words... words...

my poor sweet Hamlet

how do i catch thy arduousness.

now is the time for our battles

the language to be broken

into so many pieces

there'll be no language left

no more!

all understanding all.

no boundaries left to cross

not even words.

and

then

i can rest my tongue.