in me is you

in this particularly sad lonely time

when i think of you

you blend the faces of all

features i remember 

or not

the ones i loved one day

and

ones i have imagined.

in this particularly sad lonely

you bear all the names into a single one

your name

i've always feared and adored

the name i tend to whisper when i get to bed

after a long sleepless night. 

in this particularly sad

i distress into a smile of happiness

never knowing how to find you

or where to look

and

even if my looks are good for you.

in this particular

i imagine you

hidden

into the canvas of my life

as i still know how to paint it. 

in this

i invent you

stuck between these words

waiting to get out.

be free!

in

me

is

you. 

old photo by me